He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
