I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
