I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
