Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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