lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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