Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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