they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
