he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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