Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
