that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
