i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
