Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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