I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
