I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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