Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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