Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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