what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
