Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
