Cold hands, warm shart.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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