you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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