either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
