Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
