then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The struggles of a small town man whore
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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