So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
