The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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