when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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