why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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