i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
How external is "for external use only"?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
