So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My nipple is on Facebook.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
