What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
