I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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