i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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