Welp...herpes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
