you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
