And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
