He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
