You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
