you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
