I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
