I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
