Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
