I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
