STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
