is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
