Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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