you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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