Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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