nut hugger
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
