I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
