she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
