you win again, gameday.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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